Oh, do tell.

A friend and I decided to spend an evening in and "recreationally" use Ambien. For anyone that's never taken it, basically if you're not in bed in a dark room when you take it, you'll stay awake, possibly hallucinating and most definitely doing all sorts of odd things that, at the time, felt like the most brilliant plan you'd ever devised. And then, you forget everything for three days, or until someone reminds you what you did.

Well this girl always had a cluttered house, and for weeks she had this roll of masking tape on the kitchen table. So after trying to watch several movies on Ambien (Gigi, Spinal Tap, How to Irrrritate People - all failures, especially the last one ... too irritating) I was inspired to "tape" something. So I demand that my friend bring me the tape. She brings it and I say, "Now I need something to tape!" She looks around in a panic, trying to find something that I won't ruin, so I look at her and declare, "The ketchup bottle!!" with a haughty "oh come on, obviously it's the ketchup bottle" tone. She grabs it for me and I begin carefully taping around it, then I reach the neck of the bottle and create a little "ruffle" at the top. I was very proud. I grabbed a pen, wrote something on it, handed it back to her and back in the refrigerator it went.
The next morning, she went to get a drink out of the fridge, and came back with the ketchup saying, "what happened last night?" I look at the bottle and it says, "Eat your ketchup now, children ... there will be no ketchup in HELL."

~Mori

If anyone remembers the time last spring when I appeared to go temporarily insane (and I hope you don't; I generally try not to)... I was staying with a good friend and she apparently gave me some sleeping pills and Chinese herbal medicine, without telling me that they were sleeping pills. The herbal medicine is pretty hard to miss - it's gag-inducingly bitter and there's lots of it. But cute little pills.... I think I had a cold or something, and I was definitely having trouble sleeping that week. Anyway, I'm not sure you can get Ambien in that part of China, but it might have been something similar. I did have a really freaky hallucination-type experience after I finally went to bed that night, after posting some stuff here and elsewhere that I really ought not to have.

Conclusion: do not take get anywhere near the Internet when taking strong medication. I've pretty much sworn off sleeping pills for life. I don't care if I'm actually falling down and drooling from exhaustion. Anything would be better than what I went through. Thankfully, you guys are pretty tolerant. Probably helps that I was on another continent at the time and not likely to go postal on any of you personally, eh? :)


shenme shenme shenme - It's a cat!

one should never make a phone call, hand write and mail a letter or reorganize anything (since it will take three days or more to remember where you put everything).

And for the record, I didn't think I was a charcoal briquette ... I thought I was a charcoal virtuoso - I actually thought the crap I was drawing on paper with charcoal pencils came within miles of what could be considered "art".

~Mori

hee! briquette, virtuoso... same diff! that just makes the whole thing funnier.

i would now refer you to "the thread in which we all have a long and ultimately silly and pointless (except for the silliness, which is its own point) discussion about what, precisely, is 'art'", but even you have been here long enough to know that's not my job. no, MY job is to sigh loudly about how it would sure be nice if someone else went and hunted that up for us.

and then wait. *grin* here, pull up a chair, wait with me.

I am very good a sighing and waiting. While we wait, we'll have to figure out an equally relaxing job for us.

~Mori

Here you are, then. Pretty easy search--art comes up now and again, but we don't much talk about 'Reese Witherspoon'.



Because if we did, the mad art critics long locked in basements would come bursting out to destroy us all. Or, you know, we'd all be bored. Or something.

wow. that was quick. thanks!

i'll just be over here being amazed that i keep getting away with that. *blink*

I just reread the original inpassing for this thread. Passing myself off as a charcoal briquette would have been way more fun.


shenme shenme shenme - It's a cat!

you should submit that to heinz.

I concur, that's a much better slogan than what they've come up with so far.

My roommate and I had a chat about the Heinz 'promotion' - which seems more like a contest on the bottle. (That is, it looks like 'win x [insert large # here] dollars' contests from the past.) My roommate was sure that there was a cash prize or something involved, but I saw that the prize was only seeing your label title on store shelves.
It's atypical, most of these 'promotions' are also contests to win something. Apparently this is different.

I really enjoy the different labels and when it was time for a ketchup purchase for my home (always a big day), I made sure to pick out my favorite of the bunch. I went with "Meatloaf Enhancer." Not HI-larity, but cute. All during Christmas I kept referring to it as the meatloaf enhancer instead of ketchup, which really confused everyone and briefly alarmed my cousin the vegetarian. Fun times.

I just knew you belonged here. *G*


I'm Apple, and I approve this message.

I wasn't in college when I did that. I was like, 27? Yeah - I think the question mark shows how little I remember about 27 and the years preceeding. Hey, but I'm sober now!

~Mori

I forgot to add that I never went to college. Where's my "durr" face emoticon when I need it?