24 March 2004
Submitted by eve on Wed, 03/24/2004 - 12:40am. Beautiful
"He disappeared from Google after college. A very annoying quality in a man."
--A girl with a laptop at A Cuppa Tea
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Some of the better ones...
Posted by tim on Fri, 04/09/2004 - 4:41am.
timothy is popular in the northern half of pennsylvania and most of new york because of its natural adaptation to moist
timothy is definitely someone who has a lot of fun doing what he loves most
timothy is a perennial,br> timothy is a tall
timothy is the creater of the shriners haunted mansion in london ontario
timothy is a senior research associate and project manager in the multimedia database systems group at rmit
timothy is the associate vice chair and member of the executive council of the los angeles chapter of acm siggraph
timothy is popular in the northern half of pennsylvania and most of new york
timothy is filled with your wisdom
timothy is bound to be passed over by the people who prefer big names emblazoned on their instrument?s
timothy is native to europe and asia
timothy is in the movie swordfish
timothy is classified in the division magnoliophyta
timothy is now 14 months old
timothy is timothy regardless whether it is "western" or not
timothy is from charlotte amalie and he is about seventy years old,br> timothy is very palatable
timothy is 7 to 10 days later than common
timothy is referred to as a young men timothy is sixty
timothy is getting around m+23 litres from march grass alone
timothy is viewed as an eccentric by those who buy his reports/reviews/articles these are his major form of income
timothy is a symbol of american heroism
timothy is encouraged to prove that he is the real deal by how he speaks
timothy is a cool
timothy is a master story teller and magician of the mind
timothy is a chilly man; his work
timothy is among a select group of figure skaters who will be interviewed and photographed at the olympic summit
timothy is a very special raccoon
timothy is the traditional choice for small animals
timothy is not happy
timothy is able to follow directions and receive affection from caregivers
timothy is a game targeted at a young audience
timothy is the founder and executive director of the foundation for ecology and harmony of spirit
timothy is an ideal spot for outdoor entusiasts of every kind
timothy is a beautiful siamese mix
i love that i'm the choice for small animals and very palatable...as well as being a very special racoon
--" The torture never stops"--
Some of the more interesting ones.....
Posted by chrispsu on Wed, 04/07/2004 - 10:25am.
christina is # 1
christina is a major bitch
christina is snubbed and honoured
christina is shaken by the news that her possessive boyfriend may be wanted for the murder of an ex
christina is back
christina is a ten year practitioner of homeopathy
christina is crowned queen
christina is not at this point permanently exiled from sweden
christina is abducted by the ghoul
christina is not 21
christina is trapped in a loveless marriage to the german prince hans
christina is the best "sleepy girl" that i have ever seen
christina is certified as a reiki teacher

It's a good thing that I'm not permanently exiled from Sweden, since I'll be going there over the summer!
My Googlism
Posted by Apple Man on Mon, 04/05/2004 - 10:55am.
for today is...

jason is god
jason is alive
jason is the happiest he has ever been in his life
jason is judging my camera work
jason is one of new york city area's most respected
jason is hostile
jason is possessed
jason is a buttmuffin
jason is back in town
jason is famous
jason is a sick bastard
jason is very correct
jason is so happy and insane
jason is hard to understand
jason is a go
jason is hostile he goes to bed every night
jason is certified in hypnosis
jason is best known for his critical writings
jason is not likely to attack downfield
jason is the best on july 27
jason is the world's leading and fastest growing company in quantitative reservoir characterization
jason is the java activation server
jason is an "all american" clean cut kid who happens to be a virgin
jason is already preparing for next year's awards
jason is the winner of the 2002 kleban award for outstanding lyrics
jason is nude
A lurker dares to make herself heard . . .
Posted by Julie on Mon, 04/05/2004 - 10:34am.
I'm not on Google at all (oddly enough, you get lots of hits for Mary Poppins when you search my name), but Googlism had quite a few things to say. Apparently, there are quite a few of me!

julie is cold
julie is going to be massive in da states
julie is a beaver
julie is the world champ
julie is a bitch
julie is the redhead next door
julie is???
julie is her name volume 2
julie is cured
julie is taking your name in vain over on general board
julie is an mp3 and ogg jukebox written in python and c for unix systems
julie is embroiled in a fight against city hall regarding leaf blowers
julie is such a wonderful person
julie is a bad ass
julie is at high risk of schizophrenia
julie is comfortable in most settings
julie is a proud member of the canadian association of professional speakers
julie is the first solo folk artist to be signed to a major british record company
julie is actually "on the verge of getting tossed out of brigham young university
julie is by far one of australia's top line presenters
julie is originally from quebec
julie is currently the apegga representative on the faculty of science at the university of calgary
julie is a young british nanny working in italy
julie is a frequent guest on fox 35 news and area radio stations as the "etiquette expert" giving etiquette and protocol tips
julie is seven years old
julie is??? take the quiz to find out
julie is not a utility
julie is hesitant to set herself up for further heartbreak
julie is standing on a bathroom scale when suddenly the mass of the earth is magically doubled
julie is far from being some crass yank
julie is our foundation bitch
julie is in town
Long list
Posted by Jon on Mon, 04/05/2004 - 9:06am.
With a common name like Jon, it's a long list, so here are some highlights:
jon is
jon is a punk
jon is over worked
jon is reading
jon is focused
jon is the only one touching the water's surface
jon is wrong
jon is aroused by star trek
jon is a taxpayer
jon is listed in the who's who of global business leaders
jon is a big fat piece of frozen poo on a stick
jon is your friend
Posted by hypoxic on Mon, 04/05/2004 - 8:57am.
Geez I don't know how to discuss this but I am six degrees away from the Prime Minister actually. I know people that are related to Peter MacKay. And please don't yell at me about his politics. They're his own not mine.

Oh yeah I know women that will google the men they are dating to find out more info. Scary.
Too funny
Posted by Desert Fox on Sun, 04/04/2004 - 1:42pm.
I love these things. I didn't think my pseudonym would come up with much, but I was wrong. These were the best of the bunch:

Desert Fox is over.
Desert Fox is not a difficult marker to work on.
Desert Fox is only vulnerable from behind.
Desert Fox is solidly constructed.
Desert Fox is to degrade Iraq's military capabilities.
Desert Fox is delaying the impeachment proceedings.
Desert Fox is a compact light weight unit that you can take anywhere.
Desert Fox is a unique field.
Desert Fox is equally troubling.
Desert Fox is a very beautiful game.
Desert Fox is a measure of the weakness of a presidency.
Desert Fox is within range.
Desert Fox is threefold.
Desert Fox is proving an albatross around the necks of the anglo.

And for my real name:

Michelle is front page news.
Michelle is the yummy girl.
Michelle is safe and dry.
Michelle is Thursday.
Michelle is a teenage bi.
Michelle is already a legend.
Michelle is the voice of reason in certain situations.
Michelle is gaining strength and becoming more dangerous.
Michelle is incredibly intelligent.
Michelle is Washington state's oldest winery.
Michelle is none too happy.
Michelle is equipped with a very robust wine list.
Michelle is human.
Michelle is dazed and confused.
Michelle is so Asian.
Michelle is one of those girls you drooled over in math class.
Michelle is in fact a Welsh sheep farmer who drives a lorry.
Michelle is a dangerous thing.
Michelle is the usual assortment of potato chips/crisps and drinks.
Michelle is on top of the world.
Michelle is no good.
Michelle is feeling the vibe.
Michelle is caught off guard.
Michelle is a mole.
Michelle is not impressed.
Michelle is smokin'.
Michelle is forever.

Michelle is far too amused by Googlism.com.

"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto
Alyssa is not a lesbian alys
Posted by Alyssa on Sat, 04/03/2004 - 10:48pm.
alyssa is not a lesbian
alyssa is very special because she is mildly autistic
alyssa is that she sleeps more than anyone i know and could probably eat more than you
alyssa is the white wild force power ranger
alyssa is not sure what happened next
alyssa is gay
alyssa is upset to learn that the paper must be delivered by one of the authors
alyssa is $750
alyssa is about the niftiest thing in the known universe
alyssa is that she even had a successful stint as a pop star
alyssa is that she's now banging justin timberlake
alyssa is the sweetest little girl i know
alyssa is done with justin and has moved onto fred
alyssa is having trouble getting laid after her breakup with cinjun tate
alyssa is now 2 1/2 years old and is trying very hard to walk
alyssa is stricken at how her vital and beautiful young mother seems to have aged a thousand years in the past six months
alyssa is that kind of girl that makes other girls lesbean
alyssa is the kind of disc that challenges the listener
alyssa is to give her another potion that will make her hate him
alyssa is a child created purposefully by god to carry out his plan in this world
alyssa is a certified as a kripalu yoga instructor
alyssa is assigned to help with the murder investigation and once again the two are face to face
alyssa is a lesbian
alyssa is truly a very special little person
alyssa is studying holistic nutrition with alok
alyssa is trapped on a shrimp boat headed toward louisiana
"eve is attempting to listen in"
Posted by slugbuggy on Sat, 04/03/2004 - 7:15pm.
...so sayeth the googlism thing. Pretty astute observation, googlething! It also says this:

"eve is watching you
eve is filled with dramatic stories
eve is a perfect example of tight writing
eve is described as an adventure game but it really isn't like any traditional adventure game on the market
eve is located in the hut computer science building
eve is freeware
eve is no wimpette
eve is not all she seems
eve is about deception
eve is that and so much more
eve is graphically impressive ...
eve is sure pretty
eve is equal parts feisty bulldog and charming lady
eve is a night when louisville and hollywood don't seem very different
eve is symbolic of the quintessential american woman
eve is the hottest bitch that's what it is but she gon' stay ladylike that's what it is ...
eve is again listening to the voice of the serpent
eve is worried about inappropriate girl/boy behavior too
eve is too smart for testosterone
eve is as complex as she is simple and her music is an indisputable reflection of the many characteristics she embodies
eve is pretty different from the american way"

and, just in case you need a reaffirmation of your existence:

"eve is not a theory; it is a mathematical fact"

(I didn't care much for the rude things that the googlejerk was saying about me so I tried our webmistress' moniker instead, with better results. "Graphically impressive," nice euphemism.)
Igirl is the shit Igirl is g
Posted by Intelligirly on Sat, 04/03/2004 - 3:01pm.
Igirl is the shit
Igirl is going to be a little different
Igirl is the latest blue rain
Igirl is drawn to the restrained lilyanne
Igirl is a dynamic player who thrives on competition
Igirl is now taller than mom
Igirl is into both types of music
Igirl is coming" and it seemed to me that everyone took an extra firm hold on their
Igirl is a piece of garbage
Igirl is especially knowledgeable in hotels
Igirl is pretty damn good
Igirl is a big dork
Igirl is alone with her acoustic guitar
Igirl is back
Igirl is not really a dalmatian
Igirl is a client of anne's and has known her since she was a puppy
Igirl is an up and coming bondage star with that "girl next door" look
Igirl is known for her historical regencies
Igirl is usually it
Igirl is an idea that came from wondering
Igirl is not convinced that there is a bus in the river

I love Mike!
Posted by Inuki on Sat, 04/03/2004 - 1:11pm.
My real-name list is identical to Cebu's. My nickname was taken from an anime show ("X"), so my results are skewed that way. Sample:

inuki is yuzuriha nekoi's invisible "spirit dog" that helps her in battle and accompanies her where ever she goes
inuki is her sole companion at all times
inuki is a big part of yuzuriha's life
inuki is able to transform into weapons and shields to protect yuzuriha
inuki is able to transform into a long sword by yuzuriha's orders
inuki is moonbow
inuki is currently 17 and loves anime
inuki is
inuki is so pretty
inuki is a bit larger than the just the dragons
inuki is rather
inuki is a female
inuki is my friend
inuki is so kawaii
inuki is assisting me in attempting to pin it down and repair it
inuki is disturbingly cute?
inuki is doing great
inuki is do damn cool
inuki is also cool

Amusing, but very slanted towards the character I stole the name from.
This is a funny one...
Posted by ParU on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 10:32pm.
A very interesting trait, 'being on Google'. Turns out I share a name with some fairly common people, but if I search hard enough I can find a few references to things I've published.
It's Amino world without Chemists
They didn't know enough about "lord barton" so yah.
Posted by lord barton on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 5:30pm.
barton is resident composer at the oregon shakespeare
barton is a fag
barton is staying at st james' park
barton is featured guest on wednesday
barton is a 'mock' mayor
barton is now situated alongside a major north–south road
barton is not wholly unlikeable; there is a sense that he means well and that he at least has an artistic vision to which he wants to
barton is unaware of this publication
barton is currently leading the house charge to pass a comprehensive national energy
barton is voluntarily drug tested
barton is approximately 908
barton is a hotbed for native american culture
barton is a reincarnation of gracious
barton is really a music box
barton is a mom and pop operation
barton is a youthful idealist in a 49

hahahahahaha i need to stop while i'm ahead
The Company Spoils My Search
Posted by Apple on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 7:25pm.
apple is still in the black
apple is worming its way
apple is the leader in k
apple is back
apple is nifty
apple is better
apple is stalking
apple is the win
apple is sweeter
apple is delicious
apple is big on rizzi
apple is working
apple is reclaiming the classroom
apple is on the ball
apple is a cull
apple is back in the saddle
apple is gross
apple is showing good business sense
apple is set to unveil
apple is now a free download
apple is good for the pear
apple is a nice target
apple is a screenarts work of art
apple is on to something
apple is back
apple is the domino
apple is exciting
apple is nice
apple is better when hard
apple is doing right
apple is a "good guy"
apple is not your friend
apple is a leader
apple is equal
apple is now easier than ever
apple is top 5 online
apple is on the ball this afternoon
apple is back in the saddle
apple is related to its browning disorder
apple is focusing too much on gee
apple is set to unveil
apple is now the big cheese
apple is sweet for the rest of us
apple is lovely
apple is polished again
apple is doing a lot of things right
apple is streamlining
apple is a home daycare located in columbus
apple is stolen
apple is in great shape
apple is a lousy lover
apple is #1
Well, using "Cebu" isn't terr
Posted by Cebu on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 7:47pm.
Well, using "Cebu" isn't terribly interesting, so here are some with my real name:

amy is obsessed
amy is famous
amy is in the showerboyfriend took the picture young
amy is a native montanan
amy is very happy and wants to show you her butt
amy is very happy and wants to show you her butt fast
amy is working on in her dungeon
amy is pissed off and wants to leave
amy is very happy and wants to show you her butt total lesbian orgy
amy is a refined 24 year old graduate student who truly lives life
amy is an 8 year old yorkie
amy is a great movie that is both hilarious and also touching
amy is happy to go it alone
amy is a nationally renowned self
amy is outraged at the number of people who can't spell stewart
amy is feeling the isolation and you just wish she would put down those damn cards and go after them with her quick southern wit

i'm an 8 year old yorkie who wants to show you my butt. fast. and damn those people that can'tspell stewart! hee hee. man.
Posted by steff on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 9:50pm.
isolation cured with quick southern wit. can't get any better than that.

well, unless you're going to go around showing your butt. fast.
Heh. I think I like that idea.
Posted by paul on Sat, 04/03/2004 - 9:13pm.
And now I get to test out my new signature besides...

paul is not our savior.
paul is known as 'silk' to all who know and love him.
paul is a past master at floating progressive.
paul is that man.
Posted by Apple on Sat, 04/03/2004 - 9:17pm.
I just tried Mr Man and I got

Mr Man is god.

Heh heh heh.
Posted by paul on Sat, 04/03/2004 - 9:31pm.
And God told Eve not to bite the Apple...

BTW, that must have been when you used his real name, because mr man results in "mr man is recognisable from the yellow star thing stuck up his backside."

paul is not our savior.
paul is known as 'silk' to all who know and love him.
paul is a past master at floating progressive.
paul is that man.
Googlistic me
Posted by Kris the Girl on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 10:02am.
Some of mine are in German. Which...adds flavor, I guess. Here's some highlights about me:

kristan is killed and worries that she might have done it
kristan is the 1
kristan is currently in 3rd grade and enjoys learning at school
kristan is in mrs
kristan is still smoking more dope than sir smoke
kristan is known as the bitch
kristan is "condemned to live" after being turned into a vampire by the full moon
kristan is playin'you boy
kristan is curvy
kristan is flying across the country to increase the flame
kristan is norwegian but seems to have spent most of her life wandering the world
kristan is hot wednesday

And boy am I ever hot wednesday, lol.
Posted by Pizza Delivery Guy on Thu, 04/01/2004 - 7:40pm.
err, but seriously, I'm on google, but the photo is SOOOOO outdated. ANYWHO, Googlism.com has to be one of the coolist sites ever. It said my dad was "made of foam and rubber." How cool is that? (My dad's a puppeteer, so it makes sense)
Hi. I'm not dead.
Posted by Elise on Sun, 04/04/2004 - 9:39am.
There's a car called the Lotus Elise, so that sort of skews my results. But some of them are vague enough that you can interpret them in... other ways.

elise is not currently availble
elise is selling like hot cakes where ever lotus can sell it
elise is just about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on
elise is composed of 26 bonded parts
elise is very controllable at the limit
elise is much more aggressive and together with the larger wheels
elise is already a featherweight
elise is not street legal in the united states and is for track use only
elise is a project to help scottish companies increase their exports
elise is about driving pleasure
elise is designed with the exact functions and capabilities as the marcus but with a more feminine look and an extra pocket in the flap
elise is a nervous wreck who can just hold it together enough to pass for functional

That last one... so eerily accurate. (And how did they know about my larger wheels?)
Heh heh heh.
Posted by paul on Thu, 04/01/2004 - 9:14pm.
I too have a common name, but it reveals some very interesting stuff. For instance:

paul is campaigning for on your behalf
paul is one of the worst things
paul is prince charles
paul is that man
paul is a native and long
paul is known as 'silk' to all who know and love him
paul is not our savior
paul is out there
paul is a particular favourite in the west
paul is the coolest person on the face of the planet
paul is making the band's ex
paul is the minister of finance and when he grows up he wants to be prime minister too
paul is selfish and only cares about his career
paul is her cousin so they share some lines
paul is running a covert

(I initially misread that last one and got one hell of a laugh. I thought they had me confused with Monk.)
Posted by Matt on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 2:02am.
But are you also an Anglophile and spell things strangely? Or did you copy the text straight out of a Googleed website? Because "favourite" is just plain wrong, where we live, Big P.

Hey, I'm just sayin'.
Actuually, Mautt...
Posted by paul on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 4:49pm.
I did copy that straight out of Goouglism. I believe that that was from a Canadiaun site, since my name hauppens to be shared by one of their politiciauns. Hence all the extra u's.
Posted by steff on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 9:47pm.
look, look! paUl made a funny!


I'm glaud you liked it, stueff...
Posted by paul on Sat, 04/03/2004 - 9:05pm.
Actually, I've used that routine before on a friend from England, but it also applies to Canadians. And since I have been the Prime Minister up there, that's probably where most of my hits came from.

My kids, on the other hand...

(son 1) is a skater/druggie boy with a good heart who is deemed socially unacceptable
(son 2) is mixed up in the murder investigation of an la 'madam'
(daughter) is only part of the reason you were so angry with me

I also liked that one son is a heavy user of booch methods, is a forgivable clown, and is a new kind of man for a jane austen novel.

I am not our saviour.
Posted by daen on Sun, 04/04/2004 - 2:32pm.
If you've been Prime Minister, many things about Canadian politics become much more explicable.
Posted by Matt on Sun, 04/04/2004 - 9:21pm.
Except that, of course, the Canadian Prime Minister is actually Saddam Hussein, operating out of his foxhole. Which explains why the Quebecois can no longer drink wine, Newfoundlanders may no longer have sex with animals, and Scott is still a dick.
Posted by Matt on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 7:33pm.
Heh. Good one, Paul. I found out all kinds of interesting--and some remarkably true--things aboot me on Googlism.
Off topic
Posted by umrguy on Mon, 04/05/2004 - 12:03pm.
Matt, I've been wondering, how do you get it to not do any titles for your replies?

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by Saint on Mon, 04/05/2004 - 3:34pm.
Put a couple of spaces in the Subject space.
Posted by Matt on Mon, 04/05/2004 - 9:31pm.
Yup. I learned that from Saint. Use the space bar, people! Unless you outright want to have a title.

"I'll take Famous Titties for 200, Alex."

"That's Titles! Famous Titles!"

"You see the world your way, Trebek. I'll see it mine."
Posted by Matt on Thu, 04/01/2004 - 5:54pm.
I found myself on Google. I used to be the first entry on the first page if you did a boolean search on my first and last name, but now I'm reduced to two entries on the 8th page (both letters to the editor at The Daily Californian) and one on the 9th page.

On the other hand, I was bored one day and looked up an ex. With such an unusual name, all the results were about her, including a non-profit where she works sometimes, that listed her home address, apartment number, and phone number. Scary.
Isn't that weird?
Posted by PGS on Tue, 04/06/2004 - 10:30am.
Maybe I'm the only one who thinks that. I always figured my name, last name anyway, was pretty uncommon, but when I googled I was finding people with my name left and right. And then I found myself in a blog of a girl I went to high school with. That one was odd.
Posted by Inuki on Wed, 04/07/2004 - 2:55pm.
My first name isn't common, but it isn't unusual either - I know maybe 5 people who have the same name. (Not nearly as bad as the Christina derivatives - at one point there was a Christine, a Christina, a Kristina, and a Crystal all in the same class.) Same with my last name - I don't often meet people with the same one, but it's not unusual.

A Google on my name (in quotes) returns over 8,000 results. Apparently I'm a singer/songwriter, a costume designer (for Doctor Who?), an archaeologist (who even got the middle initial right), associated with ancestry.com, and a doctor - just from the first page. Go figure. I'm fairly sure any results that actually refer to me will be way back on the pages near the end, because I don't put my last name up online, as a rule.

Kinda fun.
Posted by Jon on Thu, 04/08/2004 - 7:26am.
Testing the no subject thingie

A costume designer for Doctor Who? That would be a cool gig. "Yeah, remember the clunky green Martian guy, who looked like he was made of Legos? I made that suit."
Posted by Apple on Thu, 04/08/2004 - 12:42pm.
Curses to all you "No Subject" persons!!! Don't you know that on the "View Recent Posts" page, subjects are all we have to click on??? Gah! Y'all're just trying to upset me. Ha! It's not working as I am heavily medicated. I only mention it now because Jon decided to test it, for some unknown reason. Gah, I say!
Posted by Jon on Fri, 04/09/2004 - 8:45am.
Unknown reason? Hardly. Any time a fellow like me sees a new web trick/gadgetgizmo, my fingers itch to try it out.

It's a good point, though. I usually don't switch to View Recent Posts unless there is nothing new on the front page and I'm extra bored. (With Codeine! Now in superconvenient ComfortTabs!) So I'll accept the curse, I earned that.

PS: If you type in spaces before your subject line, they don't display... the first text character displays at the beginning of the subject. This is probably an intentional feature, and I warrant, a good one.
Posted by Apple Man on Thu, 04/08/2004 - 12:49pm.
You know, I'm glad Apple's heavily medicated. She'd be down right scary if those types of things came out of her mouth when she's not sedated.
Opposite problem
Posted by Larry Hosken on Thu, 04/01/2004 - 1:03pm.
A friend of mine disappeared into Google a while back. Ever since he started working there, he hasn't had so much free time to goof off.
Posted by Mike on Thu, 04/01/2004 - 6:53am.
Wait, that can happen? And it's an inherent personal trait? Should I have my genes checked?
Actually, I don't know that I'm anywhere in Google at all. Ah, the curse of an overly common name...
...and a distinct lack of importance. There's that too.
I disappeared from google too
Posted by lord barton on Thu, 04/01/2004 - 2:26am.
i disappeared from google too actually. It made me feel invalidated. ah well!
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