29 February 2004
Submitted by eve on Sun, 02/29/2004 - 6:45am. Funny
"So I get home, and she's sitting at the kitchen table with a notebook, counting all the carrot sticks."
--Two women talking outside Pegasus books
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Bad roommate story:This d
Posted by Obsidiana on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 8:12pm.
Bad roommate story:

This didn't happen to me, thank God. It happened to Guy at the end of last semester. His roommate had decided he was going to quit school and become a youth minister. Remember that, it'll add to the scaryness later. Because he'd decided this, he'd already packed up a lot of his stuff, including his computer, and sent it home.

Guy had a final one morning. He went and took it, and when he came back he went to look up the exam schedule online...except when he tried to type in the address, the addresses of various porn sites popped up into the address bar. So he checked his history. At least twenty porn sites (some of them sounding really disgusting) were logged there, all from times when he'd been in the exam.

When he confronted the roommate, he (the roommate) began to cry saying "I just can't help it...it's an addiction..."
Evil roommate tradition: the disturbing parting gift.
Posted by Mike on Fri, 03/05/2004 - 7:09am.
I guess I should be glad that all my roommate left me was a huge vomit-inducing log in the toilet hmm maybe I shouldn't type that without any warning.

Sheesh, if you don't have sense enough to clear the history panel after a porn session... I mean, uh, "Oh, what an uncommon situation!" and so forth...

(*distraction link!*)
That's somehow appropriate...
Posted by paul on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 8:26pm.
...in the lines of "most optometrists wear glasses".
Sorry, can't stop myself
Posted by Apple on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 8:22pm.
He (the roommate) was going to be a Catholic priest??

Posted by Monk on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 1:34pm.
The counting doesn't bother me


but the repetition does


Posted by paul on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 1:30pm.
"Yes, again. And then she started muttering something about Judge Wapner and K-Mart."
A friend of a friend only eat
Posted by WidespreadPanic on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 10:46am.
A friend of a friend only eats tan foods. Bologna and hotdogs are the staples of his diet. You kinda wonder what happened in his childhood to make a person want to munch on hotdogs every chance they can get. Freak spaghetti accident?
Posted by hypoxic on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 9:25am.
I thought that they were talking about an OCS daughter or child. You know counting things and making sure that they know just how many there are at all times.
Posted by Jon on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 8:54am.
She's just being subtle. She wants 24 carrots - er, carats. Next thing you know, she'll order 10 boxes of onion rings (and insist on having them at every meal), arrange all the furniture in circular patterns, and take out books on crop circles from the library.

Either that, or she's on the "all orange foods" diet.
Posted by marinerd on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 9:33am.
I used to have a room mate who started eating all orange foods. (Yes, it was in the 60s, why do you ask?) Her skin actually started to look decidedly yellowish.

Then she switched to liver (cooked rare) and cans of Veg All. I wonder what ever happened to her?
Posted by ParU on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 2:31pm.
Is the name for that condition, marinerd. I remember it from a nutrition class where the professor described what happened if you ate too much of the carotenoids (the orange and actually green too, vitamins in orange vegatables). She mentioned that she'd seen someone who's eyeballs actually turned orange.
It's Amino world without Chemists
Does that mean that the white
Posted by DoughPoet on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 2:49pm.
Does that mean that the white piggies in the story who wanted nothing but tomato sauce to eat actually would have turned pink after all?

I always wondered about that.

Probability is the desparate attempt of chaos to become stable.
Research Log, Day 19
Posted by Yuri on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 8:03am.
Still no changes in carrot population. I have tried everything: soft music, romantic movies, even pornographic materials. Perhaps carrot gestational period is longer than I thought. Unlikely; the carrots themselves show no changes except perhaps looking a little drier.


1. Perhaps the presence of others is a hindrance to carrot reproduction. Could separate carrots into pairs.

2. Environment may be too cold for reproduction (hence the dried-out appearance of some carrots). Set up auxiliary lab in a warmer environment?

3. Carrots may only reproduce underground. Must look in to procuring undisturbed garden space to test this theory. Front yard will not work because of that damned dog next door.

4. Perhaps all carrots present are of only one gender? Though this does not rule out asexual reproduction.

Also must find way to keep roommates from eating experiment. They have no respect for science.
Cool pt to Yuri!
Posted by ParU on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 2:28pm.
Very clever!
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by daen on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 7:19am.
Any diet where I have to count carrot sticks and write them down in a notebook is right out.
Unless, of course, I can count carrot sticks, write the total down in a notebook, and then have some chocolate instead.
Posted by Intelligirly on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 7:19am.
This reminds me of an old roommate. A crazy old roommate who I'm sure would have done that to make sure we'd eaten none of HER carrotsticks--and then would root gleefullly through the fridge eating food of ours, and would be offended if we pointed out the double standard.

I love Mike!
Ah, roommates.
Posted by Mike on Thu, 03/04/2004 - 7:57am.
Is there any level of insanity that they can't drive you to?

I'm not even gonna start on my psycho roommate stories... well maybe one:

I'm living in a rented room in a two-bedroom house in a neighborhood that's not the best, okay? All was well until The Lunatic moved in with me. One of his many quirks was that he had something against locking the front door. "Oh, it's okay-- I don't have anything worth stealing" he'd say cheerfully when I called him on it. (Um, I do-- and what, you think thieves know the contents of your room beforehand?) He would leave the house without his keys almost every day, and when he realized I locked the door behind him he'd show up at my place of work and demand to use mine to get in-- you know, since I was being unreasonable in locking the door and all.

He also woke me up once to complain to me because a cockroach crawled over his foot in his room. Um, maybe if you didn't keep open syrup bottles in there? (This was two nights after I killed a mouse in the bathtub. Somehow I managed not to wake him up for a heart-to-heart talk.)

He also once picked up and shook my hyper-fragile laptop for no apparent reason-- just playing Dee Dee to my Dexter or something.

Did I mention he dropped out and joined the Army last semester?
Did I mention that he almost never bathed and the house started smelling like him?

Damn, didn't I say I'd stop at one?

Anyway, the woman in the quote's path is clear: go through her roommate's carrot sticks eat precisely half of each and every one.

That'll learn her.
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