Is there any level of insanity that they can't drive you to?

I'm not even gonna start on my psycho roommate stories... well maybe one:

I'm living in a rented room in a two-bedroom house in a neighborhood that's not the best, okay? All was well until The Lunatic moved in with me. One of his many quirks was that he had something against locking the front door. "Oh, it's okay-- I don't have anything worth stealing" he'd say cheerfully when I called him on it. (Um, I do-- and what, you think thieves know the contents of your room beforehand?) He would leave the house without his keys almost every day, and when he realized I locked the door behind him he'd show up at my place of work and demand to use mine to get in-- you know, since I was being unreasonable in locking the door and all.

He also woke me up once to complain to me because a cockroach crawled over his foot in his room. Um, maybe if you didn't keep open syrup bottles in there? (This was two nights after I killed a mouse in the bathtub. Somehow I managed not to wake him up for a heart-to-heart talk.)

He also once picked up and shook my hyper-fragile laptop for no apparent reason-- just playing Dee Dee to my Dexter or something.

Did I mention he dropped out and joined the Army last semester?
Did I mention that he almost never bathed and the house started smelling like him?

Damn, didn't I say I'd stop at one?

Anyway, the woman in the quote's path is clear: go through her roommate's carrot sticks eat precisely half of each and every one.

That'll learn her.