Archived comment by Mollie:
You think maybe he meant "fireballs?" (that really spicy cinnamon candy).
Although, fireballs is a lot more thought provoking...

Archived comment by Jon:
If it's like my account, it may be filled with spam, and rejecting any further messages that would push it over the limit.

Denise, you could send me the HIPAA info, it would be very topical for my new job! Before I started, I learned all I could, so I wouldn't be *totally* ignorant if I was asked about it in an interview.

Archived comment by Denise:
Par U - something is wrong with your hotmail account. I'm getting permanent fatal errors.

All I did was hit "reply"...

lemmee know when all is well so I can resend my exciting email about HIPAA.

*big toothy grin*

Archived comment by Paul:
Hey, look! I found Monk!

Archived comment by Obsidiana:
Personally, I picture something along these lines when I hear about an extra nipple.

Archived comment by Paul:
Ya mean like this, Oogie?... (namelink)

Archived comment by Ameroogie:
Nurse? Nurse! Nurse!!!!!!!!!

*g*

Archived comment by Denise:
oogie has nothing to add?

quick! someone get the thermometer!

Par U is being elitist, lately. *grin*
Perfect alma mater
Perfect job
Perfect weather
Perfect kids

Good thing he works for me.

We've pretty much established that he won't be needing any time off. I don't believe in that FMLA mumbo-jumbo, mister.

hehehehe

Archived comment by Ameroogie:
...as worthless as tits on a boar...but worth an evening full of laughs and years worth of mammories...

I'm thinking that placement on some common (but nipple-unusual) body parts could create quite a stir in some of the local hangouts here.

*glancing at steff as she slowly hikes her skirt, just above the knee, revealing her new addition...it's pierced even!*

Archived comment by Paul:
Well, *I* have something to add! (namelink)

I've been trying to convince my girlfriend that we need to get about six sets of these and apply them in two lines down her chest and belly and put her in a tight top before we go.

Either that, or I might get a bunch of them myself and stick them all over my butt, put on a pair of light slacks and go out and publicly complain about my acne...

Archived comment by Ameroogie:
Bah! 200. Noting to add.

Archived comment by Jon:
If anyone sings a particular song... well, earplugs are inexpensive.

Archived comment by Joe Napalm:
Hey...I didn't know you knew my boss.

Small world.

Heh.

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Archived comment by Paul:
*picturing Joe's boss singing "Just a spoonful of brains helps the necrosis stay down..."*

Archived comment by Joe Napalm:

And if your boss is so great, how come you don't have a Hubzilla, eh?

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Archived comment by Joe Napalm:

Yes...well...

I work for Mary Poppin's evil zombie step-sister.

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Archived comment by Parental Unit:
But Joe I like my job!

Besides my boss, amazingly enough, isn't a pointy haired person. Of course, in some organizations your tactics would work, but only for those situations where civil service protection applies.

Archived comment by Joe Napalm:
Ah, what did you expect, my clumsy padawan learner?

You don't volunteer all that information, especially about something as cool as Hubzilla, and expect them to let you get as many as you need (and you obviously need about a zillion). Your boss only has one function, to make decisions...they'll veto the approach you took on principle, to show that they're not just a big, fleshy paperweight.

You inform them that you need more hubs. Don't eagerly volunteer a reason, either - state it as a fact...a technological imparative that their little, pointy, zippered, zombie head would never understand. Ever. This sends the message that there is no decision to be made, and to veto the required action would just lead to the humiliation of repealing the mandate at a later date...when you would suddenly run out of hubs, or whatever it is that a boss would imagine as a reason for buying more of them.

The best time to do this is while they're on the way out the door at the end of the week, toting their golf clubs, or first thing Monday morning. It's also important that you use body-language to make it abundantly clear that you were there when they arrived that morning, you'll be there when they're gone that evening, and if he should sneak in during the wee dark hours of the night, you would be there, waiting to jump out and demand more hubs.

Then, when your order of a zillion zillion wonderous Hubzillas arrives, you shake his hand and announce - as publicly as possible - what a great idea of their's it was...quick, before their jaw stops swinging in the breeze.

Oh, and make sure you get at least one for me, while you're at it.

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Archived comment by Paul:
Actually, Parental Unit, I've always seen that written as "Illigitimi Non Carborundum." I've often been tempted to get that on a mug for use at work...

Archived comment by Parental Unit:
Joe - told my boss about hubzilla and he laughed but we're not buying any :-(

Regarding the zombies - Non illegitum carborundum (sp?).

Archived comment by steff:
joe! i really do need one of those... i covet, even. and i don't have small children, so we're good.

Archived comment by Joe Napalm:
It's not a firewall, nor is he wind-up, but I still need one of these.

I particularly like the disclaimers.

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Archived comment by Jon:
You're right - those puns are groanin' on me.

Archived comment by Denise:
*groan*

.......

Archived comment by Ameroogie:
Easy k'eel--we don't even know if it's a her or a hymm. We don't want assumption to become a habit.

Archived comment by Jon:
We're nun the wiser who that clergyperson is, J. You'll just have to take it on faith.

Archived comment by J:
Just wear a shtock!
Or in case of the not-to-be-named-clergymember, full body armour.

Archived comment by Jon:
Don't shtick it where it don't belong!

Archived comment by J:
Well humming.
Due to their mouths being full.
Uhm.
This innuendo schtick isn;t working, is it>

Archived comment by Monk:
*heavy sigh*

whew - converting lesbians is a tough business (hobby, really). And someguy - don't admit that you turn them into lesbians. First, your ego is showing in that you believe you had anything to do with it. Second, if you're that horrible of a guy and/or lover - seek counseling. I have an open appointment on Fridays. Follow the singing.

Archived comment by Denise:
Really, the main problem with firewalls is that they go under the bay.

Archived comment by talshadar:
Now steff - you know by telling me to shut up I JUST have to speak up.... hey get away with that ..mmmpphhh

Archived comment by steff:
saint, does honey dust count as 'fun powder'? (shut up, tal) =)

Archived comment by marinerd:
It sounds like Monk works for some quasi-religious society, or an underground cult of some sort.

Or maybe he's a particle physicist. Best of luck in your search for what may or may not exist. Of course, "next month" may already have passed us by. Or something. Uncertainly yours...

Archived comment by Saint:
Hey, steff--if that mirror has any fun powders on it, pass it over here, huh? It's been a long day.

Archived comment by someguyintexas:
I think a couple of my ex girlfriends converted TO lesbian, but I guess thats a different issue.

Archived comment by slugbuggy:
Converting lesbians? Isn't the lesbian the former unit of Greek currency? In that case you should really convert all your lesbians then, as Greece is now using the euro. Let's see, if there's 1,936 Italian lira per euro, and about 6.6 French francs per euro, then the old Greek currency should be worth...carry the 2, something something square root... ah, I'm just no good at converting lesbians.

Archived comment by Parental Unit:
Umm Joe - it definitely sounds like yuse workin for da Mob. Or the government. Good luck.

Archived comment by Ameroogie:
My middle name is *first*.

Archived comment by Monk:
Cinnamon is usually on first. But sometimes Mercedes is on first. Occassionally both Mercedes and Cinnamon are on first. In any of the situations, Asia is always on second. Although sometimes Asia joins in first, but that can be tiring.

Archived comment by Denise:
Who's on first?

Archived comment by Monk:
pishaw hojo!

You think you've got it bad. Try the adult entertainment industry.

Now that is a sticky employment situation!

Archived comment by Joe Napalm:
"I don't make things complicated, they get that way all by themselves."

Well, Parental Unit, the question of who will be paying me next month is the issue at hand...and all of my bridges here spontaneously combusted when I first attempted to smooth the way for my departure. The zombies mistook my attempt to keep the bridges intact as a sign of weakness, and I'm still fending off the feeding frenzy.

Here's the simplified version of the situation:
The people I will be working for can't actually hire me until they've spoken with the people I currently work for. The people I'm currently working for don't want to talk to the people I will be working for - which would be simple enough, as the people I will be working for have the authority to insist that the people I work for talk to Them. However, They do not have the authority to come here to talk to Them (They'd have to answer to Themselves), and the zombies are refusing to come out and talk to Them.

So, in case I lost you, They have to talk to Them, but They don't have to let Them in and, being the zombie cowards that They are, refuse to come out and talk to Them..

And, for the sake of chaos, there are four different "They"s invovled, as each They answers to a Them. Of course, technically, three of the Theys are just one Uber-Them, but They're acutely paranoid and schizophrenic, and the other entity They is convinced that everyone else is just a figment of their imagination that They've conjured up to torment themselves, even though they work for one of Them...well, one of Their aspects.

Got it?

*sigh*

Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be moving out of my apartment by the end of the month...depending on which one of Them I'll be working for, next month.

Anyway.

I'm off to hunt zombies.

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Archived comment by Denise:
This one is for Joe.

Hopefully they aren't hiring this guy as an HR consultant to work on your situation.

(Old fruit reference, as well, folks!)

Archived comment by Parental Unit:
Pyro boy - as you probably know, burning bridges isn't always the best move, but... keep in mind who's gonna be paying you next month.

Archived comment by Monk:
I knowest exactly that of which thou speakest.

Adam & Eve want me to stay, but VIP (Very Intimate Playthings) are offereing me a raise. Meanwhile - Dr. John's is offering me less money, but much better benefits...

Archived comment by Joe Napalm:
Funny you should ask, Parental.

I am, at this very moment, attempting to reach the Director of Disgruntled Cat-Toys (via seance) to determine exactly what arcane rituals I must perform to get my current and future employers to play nice long enough to achieve escape velocity.

You know the whole "immovable object vs irresistable force" conumdrum? Well, this is a lot like that, but with a third player running interference, just for the Hell of it. No...wait...there's four...

...and I think they're all playing tic-tac-toe for my soul...


Gah.

-Jn-
Efreeti Sophist

Archived comment by Zoltan Ovzwing:
Ooh! Ooh! I just saw the One Thing that every IT person needs! (namelink)

Well, it's *sorta* on-topic...

Archived comment by Jon:
Ooh, steff, I have it! "Expressive Belts" - a purposeful misreading of "explosive bolts". Whaddya say?

Archived comment by Parental Unit:
So Joe N. when does the new job start? Gonna give us an email address then?