Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 03/04/2002 - 3:44pm.
Archived comment by Bryan:
For dry humorists!
>>This is funny. If you don't think so you may be upper management at >>McDonnell-Douglas. >>This allegedly was posted very briefly on the McDonnell-Douglas Website by >>an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of >>course, does not have a sense of humor and made the web department take it >>down immediately..... >> >>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order >>to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the >>warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not >>required, but the information will help us to develop new products that >>best meet your needs and desires. >> >>1. >>[_] Mr. >>[_] Mrs. >>[_] Ms. >>[_] Miss >>[_] Lt. >>[_] Gen. >>[_] Comrade >>[_] Classified >>[_] Other >>First Name: ................................ >>Initial: ........ >>Last Name: .................................. >>Password: ............................. (max. 8 char) >>Code Name:.................................. >>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ..................... >> >>2. Which model aircraft did you purchase? >>[_] F-14 Tomcat >>[_] F-15 Eagle >>[_] F-16 Falcon >>[_] F-117A Stealth >>[_] Classified >> >>3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ....../......./...... >> >>4. Serial Number:......................................... >> >>5. Please indicate where this product was purchased: >>[_] Received as gift / aid package >>[_] Catalogue / showroom >>[_] Independent arms broker >>[_] Mail order >>[_] Discount store >>[_] Government surplus >>[_] Classified >> >>6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product >>you have just purchased: >>[_] Heard loud noise, looked up >>[_] Store display >>[_] Espionage >>[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally >>[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer >>[_] Was attacked by one >> >>7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your >>decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: >>[_] Style / appearance >>[_] Speed / maneuverability >>[_] Price / value >>[_] Comfort / convenience >>[_] Kickback / bribe >>[_] Recommended by salesperson >>[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation >>[_] Advanced Weapons Systems >>[_] Backroom politics >>[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat >> >>8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used: >>[_] North America >>[_] Iraq >>[_] Iran >>[_] Aircraft carrier >>[_] Iraq >>[_] Europe >>[_] Iraq >>[_] Middle East (not Iraq) >>[_] Iraq >>[_] Africa >>[_] Iraq >>[_] Asia / Far East >>[_] Iraq >>[_] Misc. Third World countries >>[_] Iraq >>[_] Classified >>[_] Iraq >> >>9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to >>purchase in the near future: >>[_] Color TV >>[_] VCR >>[_] ICBM >>[_] Killer Satellite >>[_] CD Player >>[_] Air-to-Air Missiles >>[_] Space Shuttle >>[_] Home Computer >>[_] Nuclear Weapon >> >>10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all >>that apply.) >>[_] Communist / Socialist >>[_] Terrorist >>[_] Crazed >>[_] Neutral >>[_] Democratic >>[_] Dictatorship >>[_] Corrupt >>[_] Primitive / Tribal >> >>11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product? >>[_] Deficit spending >>[_] Cash >>[_] Suitcases of cocaine >>[_] Oil revenues >>[_] Personal check >>[_] Credit card >>[_] Ransom money >>[_] Traveler's check >> >>12. Your occupation: >>[_] Homemaker >>[_] Sales / marketing >>[_] Revolutionary >>[_] Clerical >>[_] Mercenary >>[_] Tyrant >>[_] Middle management >>[_] Eccentric billionaire >>[_] Defense Minister / General >>[_] Retired >>[_] Student >> >>13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the >>interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating >>on a regular basis: >>[_] Golf >>[_] Boating / sailing >>[_] Sabotage >>[_] Running / jogging >>[_] Propaganda / misinformation >>[_] Destabilization / overthrow >>[_] Default on loans >>[_] Gardening >>[_] Crafts >>[_] Black market / smuggling >>[_] Collectibles / collections >>[_] Watching sports on TV >>[_] Wines >>[_] Interrogation / torture >>[_] Household pets >>[_] Crushing rebellions >>[_] Espionage / reconnaissance >>[_] Fashion clothing >>[_] Border disputes >>[_] Mutually Assured Destruction >> >>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers >>will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you >>better in the future-as well as allowing you to receive mailings and >>special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and >>mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will >>be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! >> >>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: >>McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military Aerospace >>Division.
For dry humorists!
>>This is funny. If you don't think so you may be upper management at
>>McDonnell-Douglas.
>>This allegedly was posted very briefly on the McDonnell-Douglas Website by
>>an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
>>course, does not have a sense of humor and made the web department take it
>>down immediately.....
>>
>>Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order
>>to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
>>warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
>>required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
>>best meet your needs and desires.
>>
>>1.
>>[_] Mr.
>>[_] Mrs.
>>[_] Ms.
>>[_] Miss
>>[_] Lt.
>>[_] Gen.
>>[_] Comrade
>>[_] Classified
>>[_] Other
>>First Name: ................................
>>Initial: ........
>>Last Name: ..................................
>>Password: ............................. (max. 8 char)
>>Code Name:..................................
>>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: .....................
>>
>>2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
>>[_] F-14 Tomcat
>>[_] F-15 Eagle
>>[_] F-16 Falcon
>>[_] F-117A Stealth
>>[_] Classified
>>
>>3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ....../......./......
>>
>>4. Serial Number:.........................................
>>
>>5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>>[_] Received as gift / aid package
>>[_] Catalogue / showroom
>>[_] Independent arms broker
>>[_] Mail order
>>[_] Discount store
>>[_] Government surplus
>>[_] Classified
>>
>>6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
>>you have just purchased:
>>[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>>[_] Store display
>>[_] Espionage
>>[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
>>[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>>[_] Was attacked by one
>>
>>7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
>>decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>>[_] Style / appearance
>>[_] Speed / maneuverability
>>[_] Price / value
>>[_] Comfort / convenience
>>[_] Kickback / bribe
>>[_] Recommended by salesperson
>>[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>>[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>>[_] Backroom politics
>>[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>>
>>8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
>>[_] North America
>>[_] Iraq
>>[_] Iran
>>[_] Aircraft carrier
>>[_] Iraq
>>[_] Europe
>>[_] Iraq
>>[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
>>[_] Iraq
>>[_] Africa
>>[_] Iraq
>>[_] Asia / Far East
>>[_] Iraq
>>[_] Misc. Third World countries
>>[_] Iraq
>>[_] Classified
>>[_] Iraq
>>
>>9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
>>purchase in the near future:
>>[_] Color TV
>>[_] VCR
>>[_] ICBM
>>[_] Killer Satellite
>>[_] CD Player
>>[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
>>[_] Space Shuttle
>>[_] Home Computer
>>[_] Nuclear Weapon
>>
>>10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all
>>that apply.)
>>[_] Communist / Socialist
>>[_] Terrorist
>>[_] Crazed
>>[_] Neutral
>>[_] Democratic
>>[_] Dictatorship
>>[_] Corrupt
>>[_] Primitive / Tribal
>>
>>11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>>[_] Deficit spending
>>[_] Cash
>>[_] Suitcases of cocaine
>>[_] Oil revenues
>>[_] Personal check
>>[_] Credit card
>>[_] Ransom money
>>[_] Traveler's check
>>
>>12. Your occupation:
>>[_] Homemaker
>>[_] Sales / marketing
>>[_] Revolutionary
>>[_] Clerical
>>[_] Mercenary
>>[_] Tyrant
>>[_] Middle management
>>[_] Eccentric billionaire
>>[_] Defense Minister / General
>>[_] Retired
>>[_] Student
>>
>>13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
>>interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating
>>on a regular basis:
>>[_] Golf
>>[_] Boating / sailing
>>[_] Sabotage
>>[_] Running / jogging
>>[_] Propaganda / misinformation
>>[_] Destabilization / overthrow
>>[_] Default on loans
>>[_] Gardening
>>[_] Crafts
>>[_] Black market / smuggling
>>[_] Collectibles / collections
>>[_] Watching sports on TV
>>[_] Wines
>>[_] Interrogation / torture
>>[_] Household pets
>>[_] Crushing rebellions
>>[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>>[_] Fashion clothing
>>[_] Border disputes
>>[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>>
>>Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
>>will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
>>better in the future-as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
>>special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
>>mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will
>>be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>>
>>Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>>McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military Aerospace
>>Division.