"I always confuse MSG with the KGB"

"That can't be real helpful to your understanding of the world"

-Jim and his teenage son; somewhere between North Carolina and Atlanta.

\"...so now I am the hamsters\' Dr. Ruth!\"
-Clerk at PetSmart, Clairmont Rd

\"I\'ll take a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooong jacket.....\"

-guy in the cube next door happily, randomly singing this little ditty.

"Because we have some many people leaving early or not in today, I am cancelling today's meeting."

-email sent at work today

"This is pure & unadulterated obnoxiousness"
- regarding Atlanta traffic

".... so she doesn't get Benadryl, she gets Cheeseadryl!"
polite laughter.

-odd overheard conversation between coworkers. NO IDEA of the context

UNACCOMPANIED CHILDREN WILL BE SERVED AS SAUSAGE

-sign on counter at our local friendly pizzeria

"yes, you got on the right train.... you're on the sooooooooul traaaaaaaain...."

said by 2 fellows on a New York-Brooklyn train, right before bursting into an impromptu motown duet

Our orchestra conductor, speaking to a wind player "Kyle, where's the 2nd bassoonist?"
Kyle: "I don't know, was it my turn to watch him today?"

"Question Authority"

Seen in the lobby of a bank somewhere in Western China.

...Per my Lonely Planet guide of China, as a prime example of the creative ways foreigners can translate simple phrases such as "if you have any questions, feel free to ask"