"I shall smite thou and all thou's children!"
***somewhat long pause, with me giving her a very odd look***
"...I'm not sure that thou is the right word"
"Come to think of it, it maybe *is* 'thee'; thank you for pointing that out to me, dear!"
My best friend and I at lunch-I had stolen her cupcake.

WHERE THE -F*CK- IS MY FORK!!!
a girl in my Digital Media class. As far as I could see, she wasn't eating anything...

"You soo snark."
"I do not snark!"
"You snark as if a giant ball of clotted blood is zooming to the earth!"
"When do I snark?"
"You snark frequently and often."
"...Don't those mean the same thing?"

On the Geary bus between my girlfriend and I on a Sunday afternoon. And no, I have no unearthly idea what 'snark' means.