2 November 2003
Submitted by eve on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 8:47am. Funny
"Sign it 'You'd better let me know what's going on. See ya.' If you say 'Love ya ' to him, you and me are going to go for a round next time we find a boxing ring."
--A woman in a net cafe to another woman who was typing.
Comment viewing options:
Select your preferred way to display the comments and click 'Save settings' to submit your changes.
Browse 111 comments:
»1« • 2 • 3 • next
There are more than 50 comments in this node. Use these links to navigate through them.
Posted by brian28306 on Sat, 11/08/2003 - 10:34am.
Burning branch...snazzy.

Lo! Who is that, skulking out of the fields! It is Brian28306, hands clutching a burning branch! He bellows mightily:

"I'm going to bludgeon you so hard, the Earth will spin twice as fast!!!"
Posted by Paul on Fri, 11/07/2003 - 4:20pm.
I might have to send these in to Homestarrunner:

Hark! Who is that, stalking along the hotel lobby! It is Fhqwgads, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! And with a spectacular scream, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to pierce a hole in you the size of God!!"

Striding over the hotel lobby, swinging a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Trogdar The Burninator! And he gives a gutteral cry:

"I'm going to beat the flaming shit out of you!"

Rampaging amidst the mini-mall parking lot, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a vorpal blade, cometh Trogdor The Burninator! And he gives a low scream:

"I'm going to contort you until you scream like a banshee, and dip you in uranium!!"
Battle cries
Posted by Saint on Fri, 11/07/2003 - 1:13pm.
Mine are pretty generic (though, I have to admit, using pitas for weapons is fairly appropriate):

Who is that, rampaging over the terrain! It is Saint, hands clutching two hardened pitas! She grunts apocalyptically:
"I'm going to beat you faster than the speed of sound!!"

Yea, verily: Who is that, prowling along the steppes! It is SAINT, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a vengeful cry, her voice cometh:
"Blood and souls for my dark lord! I lay waste to the landscape until everything has croaked!"

It gets better using my RL name and nicknames:

Who is that, prowling amidst the cliffs! It is Christian, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! She roars thunderously:
"I'm going to punch you until you have puppies!!"

Skulking along the desert, attacking with a vorpal blade, cometh Niki! And she gives a gutteral scream:
"I'm going to spank you so thoroughly, I will be high on life for years to come!!"

Lo! Who is that, rampaging across the plains! It is Nik, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! She screams gutterally:
"I'm going to smash you beyond mortal comprehension!!!"

And just for fun, these are my wife's, using her real name and the shorter nickname I call her by:

Hark! Who is that, skulking amidst the desert! It is {bloodredroses}, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with a vengeful bellow, her voice cometh:
"I'm going to make tacos with your corpse!"

Who is that, sprinting along the tarmac! It is {bloodredroses}, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! She screams gutterally:
"I'm going to pummel you until your rump glows, and roll you in creamy neugut!"
Thanks all
Posted by hypoxic on Fri, 11/07/2003 - 11:01am.
So I'm probably going to get a recurve in the 40-55# range with a 28"+ draw. My natural draw is about 32" but finding a cheap recurve bow with that draw is tough and I don't know if it is necessary. but since people around here are going to become the destroyers and flayers of humanity I figured I'd also include a link on what to do with all those bodies.

To bad its not for me. I just get to discombobulate the world :P

Warning link is not for the squeamish or easily offended.
Posted by Inuki on Fri, 11/07/2003 - 7:55pm.
...Very odd. I posted something about archery, and how I have my own equipment, shoot in my backyard, etc, on another forum this morning - then it shows up here. Great minds, eh?

I definitely recommend learning on a recurve. My bow's a recurve, 20 pounds (I got it in sixth grade, or a little earlier). I forget what the draw length is. It's a takedown - the two limbs detatch from the grip with heavy-duty screws for storage. It came as part of a set, with some arrows, an armguard, fingertab, and I think a few target faces, for not too much over $100 - and I'm still using it, 7+ years later. I'm not serious enough to practice regularly, and I don't hunt, so 20lbs is plenty. My mother's a certified instructor, and I'd always go along when she went to teach Girl Scouts, and now I'm a TA for two hours a week here in college.

I love shooting. It's such great stress relief, and it forces me to focus - I'll come out after two hours of shooting, and have forgotten everything that was bothering me. It's really nice. Good luck, hypo.
And my cry is
Posted by dave on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 1:24pm.
Sprinting on the fields, brandishing a thorned whip, cometh dave! And he gives a mighty cry:

"I'm seriously going to f**k you until you are tax-deductible!"
Well this is sorta in line with battle cries
Posted by hypoxic on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 10:41am.
well this is sorta in line with battle cries

Anyone have recommendations on good beginner (read cheap) bows? I don't care if it is recurve or compound. I'm just plinking hay bales. Maybe if I get decent I'll go discombobulate the world later.

I know that Paul used to shoot.
Yes, I used to shoot...
Posted by Paul on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 11:07pm.
I learned on a recurve bow when I was in college the first time, 20 years ago. I loved it, and ultimately wanted a bow of my own... unfortunately what I got was a second-hand compound which sent the aluminum shaft arrows right through the sheet of insulating board and the sheet of 3/8" plywood and into the tree behind it all.

The nice thing about a compound is that you can shoot great distances with it without being The Hulk. The bad thing about it is that you have to shoot long distances, or you end up blasting your target with far more force than you really want.

Were it up to me, I would get a 40 lb. recurve to shoot with. It has a fair amount of power to it, but not the absurd amount that my compound gives (I think it's about 90 lbs at the peak). The compound is hard to draw to a point, then it becomes easy... but when you release it, SSHHHOOOP! and the arrow is gone up to the feathers in the target. Which is fun if you're trying to freak someone out, but can be annoying when you destroy an arrow per shot...

Two hunters get lost in the woods. As darkness is falling one says to the other, "If you fire three shots in the air it's recognized as a distress call, and they'll come to find you."

The other hunter fired three shots into the air. They wait a while, then he shoots three times again. As darkness is about to fall, the first hunter suggests shooting again. The second hunter says, "Well, I hope they get here soon- I'm almost out of arrows."

Ba da boom.
Well I heard it...
Posted by ParU on Fri, 11/07/2003 - 11:34pm.
before too, but not in a long, long time. So I'll give Paul a Robin Hood pt.
Posted by Joe Napalm on Fri, 11/07/2003 - 9:46am.
He should really get a bow with a pull he's comfortable with, rather than an arbitrary 40lbs. I mean, if he's strong, he could handle way more than that, and if he's a...what's the word, ParU? "Whoosie"?...then he might need a ligher one.

Generally, I'd recommend getting a bow that you can hold at full draw for 10 seconds without shaking.

I recommend against a compound not because of their power and expense (though those are very good reasons), but because they're so easy to use. My archery instructor's name for compound bows was "cheating". Better to learn on a recurve and avoid picking up bad habits.

A friend of mine has an extremely cool Mongol horsebow...it's verr nice. But I don't think it falls into the "cheap" category.

Efreeti Sophist
Once a Boy Scout...
Posted by umrguy on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 11:34pm.
Paul, I'm stopping you. I've heard that one before :)

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by Joe Napalm on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 1:12pm.
I've always been partial to Bear bows...

Recurves are both cheaper and better to learn on.

Efreeti Sophist
Posted by hypoxic on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 10:32am.
I got:
Skulking out of the candy store, carrying a mighty sword, cometh Hypoxic! And he gives a cruel scream:

"In the name of Thor the Mighty, I shall discombobulate the entire world!"

I'm going to discombobulate the world? I mean what am I going to do nibble on his ankle?

But if I capitalize I get a steff style one. *sigh*:
Yea, verily: Who is that, striding on the hotel lobby! It is Hypoxic, hands clutching a thorned whip! And with a low cry, his voice cometh:

"Hail the blood-letting! I come like a storm and lay waste like a hurricane!!!"
Posted by Cebu on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 7:47am.
Zang! Who is that, running along the mountains! It is Cebu, hands clutching a mighty sword! And with a bloodthirsty roar, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to beat the flaming shite out of you!!"

I prefer that over "effing" someone to death. Or until they ... have puppies. By far.

Or we have the lower-case, non-swearing version:
Who is that, striding through the wasteland! It is Cebu, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with an ominous roar, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to punch you harder than God thought possible, and plug you into a power plant!!!"
Use it as a Life Lesson
Posted by Taragirl on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 6:32am.
Just last night the kids and I overheard a young college student on the phone with her boyfriend (soon to be ex from all the yelling and swearing) with her demanding that he either break up with her or "tell her the truth." Lots of F*** You and F***ing S**t going on. But I calmly explained to my children that no boyfriend or girlfriend is worth that and the proper, correct response should always be "Okay, see you." Click. And then because I am a realistic, I also told them I would remind them of this example the first time they go through it themselves. Hey! You take those life lesson examples where you can!
Posted by Intelligirly on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 5:43am.
Good golly, my battle cry self is foul.

"Prowling along the steppes, swinging a thorned whip, cometh Intelligirly! And she gives a low scream:

"I'm going to f*** you until your rump glows, and grin like a f***ing maniac!"

I must have been taking over by that Celtic battle madness thingie.

Over the Rhine is in a Jon Favreau film!
Posted by Cebu on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 7:37am.
I can't imagine you saying that. I can't even believe you typed that.
I can't tell you
Posted by tim on Thu, 11/06/2003 - 6:04am.
how turned on I am from just reading that description and imagining Igrily yelling it
: D
__ " ...And Mr. Stiggs is trying to kill fish with his mind..."
Boxing rings for rent
Posted by Mike on Wed, 11/05/2003 - 8:12am.
That would probably be a good idea... You buy a building, set up a boxing ring, and for a nominal fee you let two people walk in, sign a waiver, don some gloves, and duke it out for three minutes or so, no questions asked. Or would that be too "Fight Club"?
Posted by Joe Napalm on Wed, 11/05/2003 - 8:26am.
I think someone already had that idea.

It's called a "gym".

City of Brass Expatriate
Xoxox gorby
Posted by slugbuggy on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 3:39pm.
"Love ya" as a closing does seem to have the effect of undercutting any resolve you might be trying to project, as History has pointed out time and time again:

"General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! Love ya!"

...and so on.
No tie for you!
Posted by hypoxic on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 3:11pm.
I am the rightful claimant to the FP. And does it really matter that much? ParU you'll never win cause we got a dog named: Mike, Joe Napalm, Slugbuggy, Steff, or Paul that will always foil your dastardly plans :)
FP phobia
Posted by ChristyMC on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 3:21pm.
See, this is why I never even try for FP. I'm convinced that any attempt I might make would end with me being broken, bloody and possibly burninated on the floor. And apparently, based on recent posts, there are quite a few people around here who would know how to cover it up, so nobody would ever be brought to justice for my burnination. Oh the tragedy!
Burnination, heh
Posted by Trent on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 9:15pm.
My roommate would love you. She's currently obsessed with Trogdor. I'll be sure not to show her this site as I'm sure she would follow you around singing Strongbad songs at you until (and even after) you threw up all over her.

Come on, fhqwgads...
Posted by Paul on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 9:19pm.
...everybody to the limit!

You'll find lotsa people here with a similar obsession.

*glances toward Apple*
Re: Come on, fhqwgads
Posted by Apple on Fri, 11/07/2003 - 6:40am.
"*glances toward Apple*"
Who? Me? Have an obsession??
Looking into the glance...
Posted by Jon on Wed, 11/05/2003 - 7:24am.
Heh. My ebay name includes trogdor in it. At work right now I have a Trogdor cross-stitch as my desktop background, and a wind-up plush crocodile as a stand-in for Trogdor. Top that! :)
I'm tempted to buy the trogdor tshirt from the homestarrunner site...
Sounds to me like the second
Posted by dave on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 1:33pm.
Sounds to me like she is trying to stop her friend from getting involved with a clingy stalker type guy. So if you give him an in with the 'love ya' I'll have to knock some sense into you ... in a ring.
Posted by Penny on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 1:44pm.
See, I thought she was trying to stop her friend. But I thought it was about trying to stop her from being all lovey with some one that may be messing around on the side. That's why she wants her to ask him what's going on.

And "next time" they find a ring? I'm with those of you wondering how often these two need to discuss things in the ring.
Are they both...
Posted by grasshopper on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 10:24am.
involved with the same guy? Sounds to me like the woman dictating the response thinks that the guy is hers.
Damn bossy ghostwriters!
Posted by Mike on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 9:26am.
...And that's why I hate it when someone reads over my shoulder.

Do other people go looking for boxing rings that often?
Daylight Savings?
Posted by yoda on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 9:23am.
Err...I think IP is still on Daylight Savings time...it's 9:22 PST now. Let's see what the timestamp says...

To me your timestamp says 12:
Posted by umrguy on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 10:45pm.
To me your timestamp says 12:23pm... maybe it's on Eastern Time?

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by Kris the Girl on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 9:14am.
"Next" time they find a ring? Because when I'm with my friends, we sometimes stumble upon boxing rings.
And really, what's the big scary thing about love?
Posted by Paul on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 10:57pm.
And really, what's the big scary thing about car crashes?

Sorry, Kris. Just been burned enough times to know better than to take the "L" word lightly.
Posted by Kris the Girl on Wed, 11/05/2003 - 6:35am.
Uh huh. I hear all of you, with your dire warnings and cautionary tales.
Not helping.
*does a happy dance*
Love's lookin' pretty good from here.
Posted by peegee on Wed, 11/05/2003 - 7:03am.
It isn't friday, but anyhow:

In the empire of the senses
You're the queen of all you survey
All the cities all the nations
Everything that falls your way
There is a deeper world than this
That you don't understand
There is a deeper world than this
Tugging at your hand

Every ripple on the ocean
Every leaf on every tree
Every sand dune in the desert
Every power we never see
There is a deeper wave than this
Swelling in the world
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

Feel it rising in the cities
Feel it sweeping over land
Over borders, over frontiers
Nothing will its power withstand
There is no deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

All the bloodshed all the anger
All the weapons all the greed
All the armies all the missiles
All the symbols of your fear
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl

At the still point of destruction
At the center of the fury
All the angels all the devils
All around us can't you see
There is a deeper wave than this
Rising in the land
There is a deeper wave than this
Nothing will withstand

I say love is the seventh wave
"In the arithmetic of love, o
Posted by tim on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 12:00pm.
"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing." ~Mignon McLaughlin~

And that's a scary thing. __ " ...And Mr. Stiggs is trying to kill fish with his mind..."
Posted by Joe Napalm on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 11:50am.
Ah, youth. I don't know whether to be charmed or chagrined...

Consider, Kris, the Sun. It is the wellspring of all life on Earth...it gives us all of our light, warmth, and energy. It can also burn you, blind you, cause cancer that'll eat away at you, or even go nova and wipe out all trace of your existance.


Neutiquam Erro
Posted by Matt on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 8:11pm.
Well said, Joe. Very well said indeed.

Fall not in love, therefore. It will stick to your face.
Yeah I know...
Posted by ParU on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 9:58pm.
Sometimes I think our Pyro guy is really a romantic at heart...
ducks and hides behind steff
...And then she
Posted by tim on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 9:02am.
spat on the floor, cracked her knuckles, climbed into her traveling dominatrix show and was gone.
_ _ " ...And Mr. Stiggs is trying to kill fish with his mind..."
Posted by ParU on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 8:53am.
Sounds like somebody's a leettllee jealous.

Posted by marinerd on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 8:56am.
Who's jealous?
Posted by hypoxic on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 8:59am.
is jealous cause he didn't get FP. HA! I did.
One lousy
Posted by ParU on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 2:13pm.
minute hypo. That's what you beat me by. I think that I'll have Eve give me a 'heads up' the next time just so I can trounce you!
who me? Cheat?
Posted by marinerd on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 2:59pm.
It was close to a 3-way tie. I composed my post when there were no comments yet, then when I posted I saw hypo's. I went to edit my post to comment on what he said, and just beat you. But I'd resisted the urge to start hollering FP. (Which was a relief when I saw that I wasn't!)
Yeah I know...
Posted by ParU on Tue, 11/04/2003 - 9:59pm.
marinerd - there were no posts when I did it too, it's just that hypo types faster. And I'd think you'd know by now that I rarely resist any 'urges'. *g*
Posted by Joe Napalm on Wed, 11/05/2003 - 8:11am.
Oh look, a TMI point with "ParU" engraved on it.


And isn't it bad enough that y'all all fall all over yourselves to slap up hollow posts just so you can say "FP!", but now you're arguing over who was first? It's bloody obvious who was first because the first post is...well...first.

As if it matters.

I mean, honestly...did you get up this morning and decide for find the least meaningful thing you possibly could, and then take a stand? I go on about some pretty obscure things, I admit - but this is, quite possibly, the most inane discussion I've ever heard.

Now...go to your room!

Efreeti Sophist
A little snarky
Posted by marinerd on Wed, 11/05/2003 - 10:26am.
It didn't seem to me as if anyone was arguing over FP, but rather discussing how we can be fooled by faster typists or slower computer speeds. FPs are not something I aspire to or care about, but I don't mind other people with their "milestone" posts.

Have some milk and cookies, take a few deep breaths. It's not important, let it go. There!
Control panel
Comment viewing options:
Select your preferred way to display the comments and click 'Save settings' to submit your changes.
Browse 111 comments:
»1« • 2 • 3 • next
There are more than 50 comments in this node. Use these links to navigate through them.