Burning branch...snazzy.

Lo! Who is that, skulking out of the fields! It is Brian28306, hands clutching a burning branch! He bellows mightily:

"I'm going to bludgeon you so hard, the Earth will spin twice as fast!!!"

I might have to send these in to Homestarrunner:

Hark! Who is that, stalking along the hotel lobby! It is Fhqwgads, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! And with a spectacular scream, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to pierce a hole in you the size of God!!"

Striding over the hotel lobby, swinging a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Trogdar The Burninator! And he gives a gutteral cry:

"I'm going to beat the flaming shit out of you!"

Rampaging amidst the mini-mall parking lot, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a vorpal blade, cometh Trogdor The Burninator! And he gives a low scream:

"I'm going to contort you until you scream like a banshee, and dip you in uranium!!"

Mine are pretty generic (though, I have to admit, using pitas for weapons is fairly appropriate):

Who is that, rampaging over the terrain! It is Saint, hands clutching two hardened pitas! She grunts apocalyptically:
"I'm going to beat you faster than the speed of sound!!"

Yea, verily: Who is that, prowling along the steppes! It is SAINT, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a vengeful cry, her voice cometh:
"Blood and souls for my dark lord! I lay waste to the landscape until everything has croaked!"


It gets better using my RL name and nicknames:

Who is that, prowling amidst the cliffs! It is Christian, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! She roars thunderously:
"I'm going to punch you until you have puppies!!"

Skulking along the desert, attacking with a vorpal blade, cometh Niki! And she gives a gutteral scream:
"I'm going to spank you so thoroughly, I will be high on life for years to come!!"

Lo! Who is that, rampaging across the plains! It is Nik, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! She screams gutterally:
"I'm going to smash you beyond mortal comprehension!!!"

And just for fun, these are my wife's, using her real name and the shorter nickname I call her by:

Hark! Who is that, skulking amidst the desert! It is {bloodredroses}, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with a vengeful bellow, her voice cometh:
"I'm going to make tacos with your corpse!"

Who is that, sprinting along the tarmac! It is {bloodredroses}, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! She screams gutterally:
"I'm going to pummel you until your rump glows, and roll you in creamy neugut!"

So I'm probably going to get a recurve in the 40-55# range with a 28"+ draw. My natural draw is about 32" but finding a cheap recurve bow with that draw is tough and I don't know if it is necessary. but since people around here are going to become the destroyers and flayers of humanity I figured I'd also include a link on what to do with all those bodies.

To bad its not for me. I just get to discombobulate the world :P

Warning link is not for the squeamish or easily offended.

Sprinting on the fields, brandishing a thorned whip, cometh dave! And he gives a mighty cry:

"I'm seriously going to f**k you until you are tax-deductible!"

well this is sorta in line with battle cries

Anyone have recommendations on good beginner (read cheap) bows? I don't care if it is recurve or compound. I'm just plinking hay bales. Maybe if I get decent I'll go discombobulate the world later.

I know that Paul used to shoot.

I got:
Skulking out of the candy store, carrying a mighty sword, cometh Hypoxic! And he gives a cruel scream:

"In the name of Thor the Mighty, I shall discombobulate the entire world!"

I'm going to discombobulate the world? I mean what am I going to do nibble on his ankle?

But if I capitalize I get a steff style one. *sigh*:
Yea, verily: Who is that, striding on the hotel lobby! It is Hypoxic, hands clutching a thorned whip! And with a low cry, his voice cometh:

"Hail the blood-letting! I come like a storm and lay waste like a hurricane!!!"

Zang! Who is that, running along the mountains! It is Cebu, hands clutching a mighty sword! And with a bloodthirsty roar, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to beat the flaming shite out of you!!"

I prefer that over "effing" someone to death. Or until they ... have puppies. By far.

Or we have the lower-case, non-swearing version:
Who is that, striding through the wasteland! It is Cebu, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with an ominous roar, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to punch you harder than God thought possible, and plug you into a power plant!!!"

Just last night the kids and I overheard a young college student on the phone with her boyfriend (soon to be ex from all the yelling and swearing) with her demanding that he either break up with her or "tell her the truth." Lots of F*** You and F***ing S**t going on. But I calmly explained to my children that no boyfriend or girlfriend is worth that and the proper, correct response should always be "Okay, see you." Click. And then because I am a realistic, I also told them I would remind them of this example the first time they go through it themselves. Hey! You take those life lesson examples where you can!

Good golly, my battle cry self is foul.

"Prowling along the steppes, swinging a thorned whip, cometh Intelligirly! And she gives a low scream:

"I'm going to f*** you until your rump glows, and grin like a f***ing maniac!"

I must have been taking over by that Celtic battle madness thingie.

Over the Rhine is in a Jon Favreau film!

That would probably be a good idea... You buy a building, set up a boxing ring, and for a nominal fee you let two people walk in, sign a waiver, don some gloves, and duke it out for three minutes or so, no questions asked. Or would that be too "Fight Club"?

"Love ya" as a closing does seem to have the effect of undercutting any resolve you might be trying to project, as History has pointed out time and time again:

"General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! Love ya!"

...and so on.

I am the rightful claimant to the FP. And does it really matter that much? ParU you'll never win cause we got a dog named: Mike, Joe Napalm, Slugbuggy, Steff, or Paul that will always foil your dastardly plans :)

Sounds to me like she is trying to stop her friend from getting involved with a clingy stalker type guy. So if you give him an in with the 'love ya' I'll have to knock some sense into you ... in a ring.

involved with the same guy? Sounds to me like the woman dictating the response thinks that the guy is hers.

...And that's why I hate it when someone reads over my shoulder.

Do other people go looking for boxing rings that often?

Err...I think IP is still on Daylight Savings time...it's 9:22 PST now. Let's see what the timestamp says...

yep.

"Next" time they find a ring? Because when I'm with my friends, we sometimes stumble upon boxing rings.
And really, what's the big scary thing about love?
*grin*

spat on the floor, cracked her knuckles, climbed into her traveling dominatrix show and was gone.
_ _ " ...And Mr. Stiggs is trying to kill fish with his mind..."

Sounds like somebody's a leettllee jealous.

FP!