"Let's go see the Tom Hanks one. Whassit called? 'Road to Permission'?"
"Perdition!"
"...Or 'Road to Preventive?'"
"Perdition!"
*(Continued ad naseum, with options such as "Road to Redemption" and "Road to Partition.")*
--An oblivious guy talking on a cell phone in the security line, and the crowd around him, at the Oakland airport.

"I'll pencil you in."
"This is a definite plan, use pen."
"It's just a saying! Why do you take everything so literally! Hello, I'm not going to use pencil OR pen, it's going on my laptop."
--Two girls in Pegasus Books

"It was the weirdest thing. Tony and I were at Legoland, and we were wearing our matching orange jumpers with the long sleeves -- and actually, it was kind of hot out that day.
Anyway, we're on this roller coaster, and it's totally a baby coaster, there's nothing scary about it, but all the same, when we get to anything that's remotely bumpy, Tony puts up his arms and screams. 'Aaahhhh!' Just like it was Six Flags or something. Every time he does it, the announcer says 'please keep your hands and arms inside the car, and please keep noise to a reasonable level.' But he keeps doing it.
Then when we get off the ride, there are all these security guards waiting for us, and I'm thinking 'shit, we're gonna get tossed out just because Tony said "whoo" on the coaster.' But the security guards say that they're going to have to ask us to change clothes."
"Huh?"
"That's what I said. I guess all these parents thought we were recently escaped convicts who up and went to Legoland. Because, you know, that's a great place to hide."
--A girl and a guy in Andronico's

"I have to get him something nice. He's my brother. I'd saved up a thousand dollars to give to my sister when she got married, and then she didn't even go through with it! And I wound up spending lots of money just trying to make her feel better...
Of course, he would have gotten a better present if he hadn't moved the date up a year. I was counting on being gainfully employed in time to get him a wedding present. But he's actually getting married, so he deserves more than the $350 I gave my sister."
--A girl talking on a cell phone at Safeway.

"You can't ski in Carlsbad... it's a cave."
--A guy talking to a girl on the ski lift at Kirkwood.

"It's so hard to meet guys working retail."
"You mean, meet guys who work retail, or meet guys while you're working a retail job?"
"Hello? Would I work retail?"
--Two girls at the bus stop on Shattuck Ave

"I always thought the big difference between modern goth style and New York fashion editor style was in the accessories."
--One girl talking to another at Jamba Juice

"You can't go wrong with satanic death metal, I always say."
--One guy to another at Rasputin Music

"Yeah, last time I tried that I was wearing my best acid washed jeans and trying to find someone to hold hands with during couples skate."
--One girl to another in the deli area at Safeway

"I've never really looked porn. I've only seen, like, the pop up pictures that get in the way."
"Yeah, right. 'The pictures that get in the way' ...of what? I don't think that sort of ad pops up when you visit PerlMonks. Heh."
--Two guys at Triple Rock