Walking past the pet aisle today, I realized that some of the harnesses made for very big dogs would easily fit most humans. So if one were worried about the Earth suddenly not sucking (not that this seems to be a real concern, on any level), one could buy a ringbolt, a harness, and a lightweight leash and safely secure oneself to the wall without too much discomfort. Add pitons and a hammer, and you can be sure of staying in the near vicinity of Earth almost anywhere you go.

--I am powerless over my addiction to parenthesis.--