My mother has an obsession with cleanliness. No, that's not the funny part. Anyway, she had just gotten her bathroom redone, and had decorated it all nice and pretty. (well in her opinion, anyway) Now, ever since my father was a child, he has sat down to pee ... this is b/c he was always the one accused of pissing all over the heating vent in his parents house, so to avoid having to clean it over and over again, he just started sitting down to avoid being blamed. This habit followed him into adulthood. So my mother had two daughters (we both sit down to pee, btw) and a husband who sat down to pee. But she couldn't convince other men that entered the house to keep from standing up and spraying all over the place. In her brilliant wisdom, she wrote a corny poem about sitting down when you pee, framed it and set it on the back of the toilet. When my parents got new carpeting in, one of the installers asked to use the bathroom. My mother, of course followed after him to make sure that he had heeded her poem. Well ... not only had he refused to sit when he peed, he pissed all over the toilet as well as on the framed poem!

~Mori