Posted by Matt on Sun, 09/19/2004 - 8:06pm.
My diagnosis is intensely disappointing.

Diagnostic Overview:

You are only slightly disturbed, and are probably okay to be alone with small children (as long as they've been warned). A brain-transplant is probably the only thing that might keep your mental health in check. You should also check into some of the doofier religions that people laugh about. People who answer as you did always cheat at card games or other pursuits.

Long-Term Prognosis:

Forget your lifelong dream of becoming a back-hoe operator. Because of your condition, we recommend that you not operate any heavy machinery until you work out your problems; which is to say, "never". Clearly you hate your mother and depise your father, but this is normal so don't sweat it. (We all hate your mother and despise your father.)
Your name:
Anne Onymous
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