So you're sticking with it because it splatters ink on you, but for free?

(*blink*)

Hmm.
Social Security provides a shaky chance for long range profit;
A good printer provides instant counterfeiting technology!!

And on the off chance you do get caught, you spend your old age in federal prison, where you are assured minimum health care, free food, and other amenities! Better than most nursing homes!

The choice here is clear. (*begins printing out Sacagawea dollars*)