My own life got disturbingly close to clown porn last weekend. Some friends and I went to a bar that usually is pretty laid back, but that evening we walked in and were witnesses to the spectacle of about a hundred scantily clad clowns. Dancing! Drinking! Making merry!

There were male clowns, female clowns, scary clowns, European clowns, armless clowns (that's not a typo for "harmless"; I mean without arms), alternative clowns, sexy clowns dancing on tables being tipped by non-sexy clowns, clown couples kissing, nerd clowns...

I think I'm going to have flashbacks to that moment for the rest of my life.