tim's blog

what the???

" How is your swallowing coming along? "

A guy on the phone talking to god knows who about god knows what

welcome to my reality

My Wife :" I'm in a bad mood "

Me: " Why?

My Wife: "Because 1/2 the people in here are stupid and they constantly piss me off"

Me: "Well Jesus, that how my world is"

Ms. Fudd on line 3

Overheard walking by a customer service reps. cube:

" Ok Your pwiowity number is F, as in Fwank.."

All I could picture was the person on the other end saying..." Fwank??...Is that F-W-A-N-K??"

Are you ready for some football...

" I have to give him back his football soon....it's stretching out my bra"
....A well endowed girl I work with talking to another girl walking past me in the hall.

The things that went through my mind in the space of 4 seconds almost scared me.
My first reactions:

I wouldn't blame the football.

Give them both back

The question is..does he Want it back?

Oh yeah...he asked me to get it for him

band name

" I used altruistic leverage"

A powerful thing, and, it seemed to me, a great band name.

Things that go bump in the night.

" Why is Donny Osmond singing " I will make a man out of you"?..
--Message left at 3:20 am on my yahoo messenger ,I'm Hoping by mistake, by a certain member of IP who shall remain nameless

1)Who is discussing Donny Osmond at 3:20 am?

2)Why would they think I'd know Anything about Donny Osmond?

My first thought was that the song was some kind of "in" joke and was being used as a background song in some elaborate costume fetish porn movie...
You know...during a whipping scene or something
But that could be just me

I'm afraid to ask for an explanation