"Soon as that came in, it's like, 'Starbucks? No, I don't drink that stuff anymore. I'm goin' to Albertson's! You want a cupcake honey?' It's a whole marketplace in there. Even a dry cleaner. That's how they get ya."
--A cab driver, talking on his cell phone

"Hey, sorry that took so long. I guess she's fighting with Marie again and needed someone to talk to and... yeah."
"It's ok, I killed time by waiting for the bathroom."
"Oh, good. I was worried you'd be mad that I ditched you."
"I was about to say, it's not your fault, you need a device that detects if a phone call is going to be an hourlong dramafest. But... you do have caller ID."
--Two girls in the crowd at the Harvey Danger show at the Crocodile Cafe

---

(Editorial disclaimer -- this one was actually from a few months back, I found it written on a napkin in my bag yesterday. I wish there'd been a HD show more recently. But if I dated it back this summer, it wouldn't show up on the front page, and then most people would never see it.)

(Also, you should check out Harvey Danger's latest album, which they're offering as a free download. You should check it out because it's free, and because it's pretty brave of an established band to try that -- but bands don't make money on albums, labels make money on albums (and then they sue the fans who have mp3s.) You should also check it out because they are rad, and their lyrics are smart and their melodies pretty. If you turned on a radio in 1998, you know Harvey Danger, but they've got more depth than just a one hit wonder. Case in point how good they are? I flew to Seattle just for their concert.)

"Missouri! Missouri's a state!"
"One of the fifty, yes."
"No, seriously, I haven't thought of Missouri in five years. It's just not a state that comes up. Even Iowa's more popular. What's a city in Missouri?"
"Biloxi. Oh, shit, that's Mississippi. St. Louis."
"I've even been to St. Louis. I changed planes there. I think I thought it was St. Paul. Minneapolis, you know?"
--A girl and a guy at Dona Thomas

"That would be more like performance art. And possibly a felony."
--A guy talking to another guy on BART.

"There are a few in the city that're open 24 hours, but they're in weird places. Like not by the clubs, or by UCSF, but down on 8th and Market, UN Plaza."
"Maybe there are visiting dignitaries flying in, need their Starbucks at 3 in the morning?"
"Maybe you haven't been to UN Plaza. I think the only diplomats there are from Cracklandia and Heroinlund."
"I think it's Heroinistan now. Political upheaval after the last election."
--A girl and a guy at La Note

"Is there a xylophonist in Broken Social Scene?"
"Probably. There's three of everything in that band."
"I could play the theremin. Can I be in Broken Social Scene?"
"You probably already are."
--A girl and a guy at Blue Bottle Coffee

"My excuse is that I frontload my pricklyness, so girls just run from the beginning. What's your excuse for losing them after date three?"
--One guy to another at Red Box Sushi.

"So, are you from San Francisco?"
"...No, but my fiance is."
"Oh, so you're just here for the Bay to Breakers?"
"I live here."
"Oh, that's great. We're having this party afterwards, you should come. All girls get a thong... in your size... we're taking pictures... you know, to promote our website."
--The world's skeeziest guy, and a girl in the restroom line at Tommy's Mexican restaurant.

"I think it's good if a guy knows what a Paddington bag is."
"It's still not getting me laid!"
--A girl and a guy in the Beard Papa queue

\"I want her to have a going away party, so I can say, \'Oh, I\'m not going. I\'ll be celebrating in private.\'\"
--A girl talking to a guy on BART

\"Christ, that smells good. What\'s that smell?\"
\"Carmelized onions, I think.\"
\"That smells better than Thanksgiving. It\'s like Thanksgiving in France! ...Which I guess is just a Thursday.\"
--A girl and a guy at La Note.

\"Rememeber how you were worried that maybe the math had worked out that we\'d each had our own bottle of wine? I don\'t think that\'s a problem; I think that\'s just the truth.\"
--A guy talking to a girl and a guy at The Butler and Chef


---------------------------------------------------

Hey kids -- Eve here. Sorry much about the quotes and slashes -- I still haven\'t fixed the version of PHP that we\'re using. Soon, sorry, promise. :-)

\\\"It just felt really gratuitous.\\\"
\\\"Yeah, I guess the scene with the insects could have been cut.\\\"
\\\"I don\\\'t know what scene really was necessary. But I guess King Kong had to show up at some point.\\\"
--Two guys talking at Taqueria Cancun

\"Wait, that\'s probably him now,\" *picks up beeping cell phone, reads message*, \"He says, \'If you\'re at home, can you look up if there\'s any liquor stores near the library, downtown?\'\"
--A guy sitting in a group of people at the Albatross

\"It wasn\'t me. It was nice, but not interesting enough for $300. You know, \'Don\'t bore Nina.\'\"
\"Yeah, because Nina will eat your young.\"
\"Oh come on, she\'d never take on those extra calories.\"
--A girl and a guy outside Metier, in San Francisco.

\"Come on, martinis at Martuni\'s! Even Melinda\'s coming. Market at Valencia.\"
\"How is either of those things possible? And anyway, especially now, no.\"
--Two girls standing near the Montgomery Bart station

\"Wow... what a relic!\"
\"Yeah, it\'s like 2000 called and wants its dotcom style back.\"
\"...I meant the typewriter on the bookcase.\"
--A woman and a man in the lobby of the W Hotel